Up until – probably the last 5 years – I always tried to pretend like I was perfect.

How are you Scott?

I’m fine. Doing great.

What’s happening?

Just really busy. Doing this. Doing that. It’s all good.

In short, I would try and hold everything I could from those around me in order to appear as if everything was perfect.

I wouldn’t share parts of myself.

I would try to keep it a secret.

But over the last couple of years, I’ve decided that doesn’t serve me or anyone else.

And that’s why, particularly over the last year or two, I’ve started to be more open.

I’ve shared stories about my struggles at the beginning of my business. I’ve told stories about my experiences in cults… with gurus… about moving schools and suffering through bullying as a teenager.

It’s stuff I would have never shared in the past.

But you know what happens when you do stuff like this?

I’ve found that people don’t rub it in your face… they actually begin to connect with the real you more.

Why? Well, when I was at a very well respected recruitment firm in my early 20’s I think I shocked everyone (including myself) when as I was leaving as I read out the following poem:

—

Don’t be fooled by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear
for I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I’m afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that’s second nature with me, but don’t be fooled, for God’s sake don’t be fooled.
I give you the impression that I’m secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me,
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water’s calm and I’m in command
and that I need no one,
but don’t believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don’t want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
my only hope,
and I know it.
That is, if it’s followed by acceptance,
if it’s followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It’s the only thing that will assure me
of what I can’t assure myself,
that I’m really worth something.
But I don’t tell you this. I don’t dare to,
I’m afraid to.
I’m afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.
I’m afraid you’ll think less of me,
that you’ll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I’m afraid that deep-down I’m nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that’s really nothing,
and nothing of what’s everything,
of what’s crying within me.
So when I’m going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I’m saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I’m not saying,
what I’d like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can’t say.

I don’t like hiding.
I don’t like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.I want to be genuine
and spontaneous and me
but you’ve got to help me.
You’ve got to hold out your hand
even when that’s the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you’re kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings–
very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator–an honest-to-God creator–
of the person that is me
if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me
the blinder I may strike back.
It’s irrational, but despite what the books say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.

—

This poem is called “please hear what I’m not saying” and was actually written by Charles C. Finn in September of 1966. Personally, I think there’s something we can learn from it as human beings and as marketers.

Remember, nobody is perfect. So when we try to pretend we are perfect we don’t endear ourselves to anyone.

But when we start to break down the shackles, and quite simply be ourselves… warts and all… our friends, our family, and our customers respond to this warmly.

Did you know Warren Buffet – the second richest man in the world – started out as a pinball repairman?

Interesting to see where people started out and where they end up, isn’t it?

For instance, I started out as a waterslide attendant, door to door salesperson, telemarketer, banana picker and I even did a few stints as a waiter.

And I want to use the waiter experience as the topic of today’s email.

Imagine a waiter walks up to you and asks…

What do you want?

And you say…

err… I don’t know.

And then he says…

Do you want stir fry chicken… the bacon and eggs… a cup of tea… a coffee…what do you want?

Umm… I’m not sure.

How about the special of the day… pea and ham soup.

I really don’t know.

Now if you give these sort of answers to the waiter, what do you think you are going to get back?

Nothing, right? Or at least it’s going to take you a damn sight longer to get it than it otherwise would.

So Bywater, what’s your point?

Well, I don’t want to get all metaphysical on you or anything, but the reality is the universe is your waiter. And if you don’t know what you want or are wishy washy in your requests, that’s exactly what you’re going to get back.

So take a moment today and ask yourself:

What do I really want?

How much do I want to earn?

How many weeks off every year do I want?

What would an ideal day look like?

And what sort of customers do I want to deal with?

If you are having problems coming up with the answers to these questions, here’s a little tip.

Think about everything you don’t want and eliminate it.

For instance, years ago I decided I didn’t want to cold call. And I haven’t made a cold call in years.

I also decided I didn’t want to deal with customers who didn’t respect my time or the knowledge I have to share. So now I educate people before they come to me and my experience is completely different.

I am still getting around to designing my business around my lifestyle and have been in deep thoughts about this in recent years – ideally, particularly once my “little man” heads off to big school I’d like to be taking anywhere from 8-12 weeks off every year.

Anyway, over to you.

What do you want?

It seems like a simple question, but it is incredibly powerful. So take a moment now to put it down on paper… then come up with an action plan… finally tune into your gut feelings to guide you along the way.

And if you think http://www.morecustomersmadeeasy.com can help you get from where you are to where you want to be, why don’t you get your hands on it now.

That’s it for today

Years ago, I saw a seminar where the presenter was saying the only difference between where you are now and where you want to be is knowledge.

His argument was that if Bill Gates lost all his money tomorrow… he could get right back up there again quickly because he had knowledge which people would pay for.

Well, I kind of agree with that.

And I kinda don’t.

Because I know plenty of people who have heaps of knowledge that aren’t raking in the cash because they don’t take the right action and don’t have the right mindset.

I believe knowledge is to entrepreneurs what steroids are to athletes – only it is good for you and has no side effects.

But they both give you an unfair advantage.

Of course, even if an athlete takes steroids, if he doesn’t take action or have the right mindset – he’s not going to win.

So I would say the 3 things successful entrepreneurs have in common (and I’ve met plenty of them ) are…

Knowledge

Action

And mindset

However today I want to talk about the knowledge problem and how it holds us back.

Now there are a few problems which exist in business. And they generally revolve around people… systems and money.

Let’s look at people… if you can’t get the right staff, you probably have a knowledge problem in terms of not knowing how to attract them… how to set up systems so you have developed relationships with potential staff members before you need them… how to set your company up as “the place everyone wants to work at” and so on.

If you can’t get things done because you are always doing $15 an hour work, you have a knowledge problem. And you need to learn how to set up systems so everyone else does this work and you can focus on what you do best. (if you haven’t read Michael Gerber’s E-Myth, I highly recommend it).

Make sense?

And it’s the same with money problems.

If you can’t get more customers, you have a knowledge problem -
http://www.morecustomersmadeeasy.com

If you can’t get your ads to work, you have a knowledge problem – http://www.scottbywater.com/critique

While knowledge may be the total solution. And while there are plenty of people out there with lots of knowledge and little to show for it… if you combine knowledge with action and the right mindset, you have an unbeatable combination.

So go & learn something

Scott Bywater

P.S. Please note, I am not encouraging the use of steroids in any shape or form – simply trying to make a point that in business it’s easy to get an unfair advantage without breaking the rules.